Monday, September 22, 2008

A Pirate Says ARRRRRRRRGH!

My poor baby! Not only is he blind - farsighted with a prescription of +3 and +4 - now he needs to wear a patch over his right eye for two weeks. It seems if you are extremely farsighted and refuse to wear your glasses because you have hit the terrible twos, AND you hide them in the recliner where they break and you go without glasses for two weeks waiting for them to be repaired, you develop a lazy eye.

It seems his brain shut off his weak eye in order to see better out of the dominate eye. The solution - patch the good eye. Sounds simple enough, unless you are the pregnant mother of said child. I was traumatized!

My kids are usually fighters in the doctor offices. If someone is messing with them in some fashion in which they don't approve, they cry, scream, kick, wiggle, and my oldest even bit one of her nurses attempting to administer a vaccination. Now that a few of them are older and can ask questions before freaking out, I am not so embarrassed by the younger ones. I even slightly admire their strong wills.

When the patch hit my son's eye, however, he didn't fit or fuss or fight. He was confused. After two or three minutes of silence he began to whimper. He was blind. His brain had no idea what was happening. It was the worst mommy moment ever. I was helpless. I couldn't fix it for him.

The next step was zombie mode. It was almost like his brain was rebooting, trying to figure out how to turn on the lazy eye. When we finally got home he began to wander around. He helped me pick up the giant checkers and put them away. Whew, I knew he was okay.

The only fun part of the event - seeing first hand how completely different two parents handle the same situation. Being the parent with eyeglasses, Ryan went with me to the appointment.

I am in the office near tears.
Ryan is joking with the doctor and asking important questions.

Ryan pulls him out of the car and expects him to walk by himself.
I yell, "HE'S BLIND!! PICK MY BABY UP!!!"

I gently coax him into picking up big, bright objects off the floor.
Ryan starts throwing WEEBLES at him to catch!

I understand why there is a balance of two parents, but man alive those guys are weird.

-Sara

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Hubby made a Funny

My three year old was trying very hard to snuggle with me tonight on the couch but she couldn't get comfy. Anytime she did settle into one spot I had to move her. I was trying to explain there is a baby in my tummy which is why my lap is shrinking.

She said, "Oh, I sorry mommy."

My husband shouts from the other room, "That is how I felt when I heard about it too darling."

Men . . .

-Sara

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

We're Back!! More Lessons from Sara!!

I won't go into boring, whining details about downed servers, misaligned schedules or who had morning sickness because the important issue at hand . . . We are back :)

My very first blog on the Chit Chat Moms' site was "Lessons." I thought it would be fitting if I wrote some more of them. Once again, the following is completely factual with no exaggeration needed. With a household of four biological kids, three babysitting kids, and a niece, things tend to get crazy at times~!

Lessons From Summer 2008 -

Eyeglasses for your 2yr old with scratch resistant lenses and "bounce back" frames will still break in half if they fall into the recliner and someone slams the footrest down.
Full warranties on child eyeglasses are WONDERFUL.

Don't always assume the water at the base of your refrigerator came from three 3yr olds playing with the water dispenser.
Don't always assume the light in the refrigerator working means the entire appliance is working.
If your SingleBFF yells the phrase, "Why is your ice cream the consistency of soup?" don't assume she is a moron (even if she usually is).

Some refrigerators have a cold-colder-coldest dial with the option to TURN THE FRIDGE OFF!!! No really, some do.
Don't assume the dial, which might be located above the highest shelf inside the fridge, is high enough to be out of the reach of 3yr olds.

If your fridge has been turned off without you noticing for FOUR DAYS, don't try to save anything.
If your fridge has been turned off without you noticing for four days, maybe you feed your kids fast food too often when the hubby is out of town on business.

Before kids go to preschool it IS a good idea to let them practice their cutting skills.
Before kids go to preschool it IS NOT a good idea to let them practice their cutting skills on their twin sister's hair.
A blunt-bob to the chin is a SUPER cute look on a three year old even if her mother had never cut her hair before.

It might seem like a good idea to tell a preschooler to run if anyone ever tries to cut her hair again, but it might come back to bite you when you take her into a hair salon to get her hair fixed.
If you have already told a preschooler to run if anyone ever tries to cut their hair again, bring a camera to catch the look on the preschooler's face when the stylist asks if she can cut her hair.

Three year olds who insist on being naked nearly 80% of the time ARE capable of keeping their clothes on to attend preschool.
Three year olds who keep their clothing on to attend preschool might, to the disappointment of their mother, still insist on being naked 80% of the time they are home.

Some eight year olds still believe in the tooth fairy.
It is hard to believe in the tooth fairy if the tooth fairy forgets to pick up your tooth three days in a row.
If the tooth fairy forgets to pick up a tooth three days in a row, writing a letter to go along with the tooth helps.

Seven year old boys make really interesting faces when you ask them if they want to take ballet.
Some seven year old boys don't mind taking hip hop class with 18 other girls.

Eight year old girls do not need help changing their dance shoes.
Eight year old girls get mortified when their mother assumes they need help changing their dance shoes.
Mothers of eight year old girls might cry when they aren't needed for shoe help anymore.

It doesn't matter how many years of experience you have teaching dance, even if you have countless trophies, choreography awards, and numerous national titles, once you become the mother of a dancer you know NOTHING!

If your 2nd grader son brings home district "Priority Spelling Words" the first week of school after having aced these lists in previous years, don't assume they are 2nd grader words.
If you have already abrasively interrogated your 2nd grader about why he didn't get his Priority Spelling Word correct, and he enlightens you they are from the 3rd and 4th grade Priority lists, the polite thing to do is apologize immediately.
If you have to apologize for getting worked up over spelling words, mellow out.

If you find the same list of Priority Spelling Words the second week of school, don't assume your 2nd grader missed them all on his previous test.
If you assume these are your 2nd grader's words, and they are actually your 3rd grader's words, they figure out the younger one is a more talented speller.
It might be an issue for a few days, so simply r
emind your kids they are all different and special in their own ways :)
If you have to apologize twice in two weeks for getting worked up over spelling words, it might be a good idea to take a chill pill.

If you are asked to water your MomBFFs flowers while they are out of town for nine days, and it rains every other day, it is a good idea to go water them anyway.
If you don't go water them until the seventh day of their vacation, and you can't get the hose to work, but you hear water running somewhere, it might be a bigger problem than your first instincts indicate.

If you decide to skip the hose and go inside the house to get a watering can, and when you do the house smells like a swimming pool - this is bad.
If you find your MomBFF's basement under 10 inches of water with their pipes GUSHING water, don't call the utilities company - they aren't much help - first call your husband (or any other handy sort of man you know) instead.
If you try to turn the water off by yourself because you simply cannot stand to sit and wait without doing anything, not only are you going to get soaked to the bone, but you probably won't be able to get the shut off valve to budge.

A flooded basement isn't ALL bad - you might get a newly organized craft room out of the deal.
Make sure to stay on your MomBFFs good side so you can go sew in her newly organized craft room :)

And finally -

Don't make blanket statements, they truly bite you in the buns.

"I don't care how much money you make, I won't let you travel anymore!"
Your husband might step down from traveling only to get an amazing offer to travel with a new company.


"I will never threaten punishment to toilet train my kids!"
One small moment of frustration and the words - one more accident and you will have to have a time out - might eliminate accidents from stubborn child to date.


AND
"I will not get pregnant! I can feel when I ovulate"
That is all I've got to say about that.

-Sara