Lunar or Looney?

SingleBFF wants everyone to know that she isn't really a moron.

Now that I have added the disclaimer I can tell you about last night.

SingleBFF came over to watch AIdol and the lunar eclipse. She was going on and on about having never seen one before. When I took her to grab some food (it was a non-cooking sorta night), she reminded me every ten minutes that we had to look outside at 8:28 PM.

In the middle of watching our shows, I decided I better find out exactly what time it was to start. Past experiences told me to verify her information. My instincts were right, she had seen the start time in Eastern - we are Central. I rushed outside to find the shadow was already halfway across the moon.

"Hurry, get out here!" I called to her, but when she got outside her excitement deflated.

"This isn't it. It is suppose to be really bright flashing lights."

I gave her my standard what-are-you-talking-about looks. I frequently hand them out to her.

"An eclipse isn't bright lights." You would think after three years of hanging out she would come to realize I am always right, but no, she argued with me

"Yes, I saw it on the news. Flashing lights, it is supposed to flash."

I couldn't contain myself. It was hard to laugh in zero degree weather. She immediately went into defense mode and launched into countless reasons how she knew what she was talking about. It took me three interruptions and a SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE before she would listen to me.

Eclipse - shadow - moon, earth, sun alignment - she looked like a deer in headlights. She didn't really care about a shadow. She sat at my window the rest of the night waiting for flashing. What a gooberhead. She still swears she saw flashing lights on the news. My best guess is they showed a clip of a time elapsed eclipse. When I approached her with the theory her flashing lights were merely glitches in a recording of an eclipse, she blew me off.

Teenagers! LOL, I wonder what her excuse will be when she hits twenty . . .

-Sara

Seriously . . .

Completely true -

SingleBFF has never stepped foot in a public library. Her reason? Her mother told her it was expensive.

My mother named me and my sister after songs. When I did a search for the lyrics, we found out my sister's song was about a dog. She should listen to the words more often.

Before my oldest daughter could talk, she could sing the theme song to Star Wars using baby talk.

I have four children. I was adamant about getting to hold them first. Even with my position on the topic clear, I only got to hold one of my babies before anyone else. Each of them were held for the first time by a separate person. Those other three people are on my $h1t list.

I didn't drink until I was 21.

MomBFF had twins three weeks before I had my third child. Not only did each of her babies outweigh my singleton, but she had the nerve to show up in my hospital room looking skinny. I instantly hated her (this was before we started hanging out).

SingleBFF was my dance student years before we became friends. She was an eight year old on one of my first competitive dance teams. Later she became a coworker assisting me in choreography. One day I explained how to line up the dancers in order to hide the crappiest ones. A few years later we had become true BFFs and were watching the old dance videos. Guess where SingleBFF was standing? In every single one of the spots I had mentioned . . . busted.

-Sara

Why we love SingleBFF

Just a typical night watching Project Runway

SingleBFF - Why am I SO RETARDED!?!?!
MomBFF - Ooooo! Oooooo! (raising her hand)
Me - We ask ourselves that EVERYDAY
SingleBFF - I hate my life, shut up
MomBFF - that's why it is a bad idea when cousins marry
SingleBFF - what?
MomBFF - forget it
Me - she said, "that's why it is a bad idea when cousins marry"
SingleBFF - who are cousins?
MomBFF - your PARENTS
Single - my parents? are cous . . . no they aren't

By now we were laughing hysterically
SingleBFF - I don't understand
Me - What are you doing that makes you retarded?
SingleBFF - I can't figure out Oregon Trail
Hysterical laughter starts up
MomBFF - what's more retarded, that you are trying to play Oregon Trail, or that you can't figure it out?

While MomBFF and I tried to figure this out, SingleBFF answered for us:
"Geezuz, why isn't this working?"

And we still don't understand why she was playing Oregon Trail.

-Sara