Sarcasm Backfired Badly . . . Twice

I haven't talked much about my father's death on the blog. With the first anniversary around the corner I am guessing it is going to start popping up in many of my daily vents. It was the single most shocking moment of my life.

There are many moments of sadness, but I love my friends and my family so much for attaching the hysterical memories throughout the experience. Here was the first one that STILL makes me laugh every time it comes into conversation. I will never live it down.

Let me set the stage.

It was an extremely cold morning in February. My father's plane had gone down a mere twelve hours earlier. Ryan was suppose to be leaving for Germany in a few days, but thankfully the trip was put off for another two weeks. He would be leaving the beginning of March instead. After only an hour and a half of sleep, I was sitting on the couch watching news casts I had recorded. All of them talking about the small plane that had crashed. The victims names hadn't been released yet. Exhausted, but wide awake, I decided to log onto the computer like I did every Saturday morning and talk to the BFFs. I had to tell them soon so they didn't find out second hand. I had tried calling MomBFF at 2AM right after I heard the news, but she hadn't answered.

The MomBFF works weekends, so I knew I could talk to her for sure. This was our conversation word for word:

Sara: are you there?
JM: you ok?
JM: you called me three times last night and I saw it this morning and it freaked me out
JM: no ones dead are they?

Now, had I been thinking straight, I would have realized that she was being her sarcastic self like usual. Howevah . . . I wasn't. When I read the line "I saw it this morning" I figured she was referring to the news casts about the crash. She was always glued to her internet news. Surely she was putting two and two together about the crash and my phone calls in the middle of the night. So I took her question literal and I answered with the information I had . . .

Sara: plane exploded on impact
JM: what
JM: WHAT
Sara: he's gone
JM: Stop it

On my end, I really thought I was doing a good job of breaking it to her. I was just glad she knew a bit about it before talking to me. I was horribly wrong. From her end, she had a heart attack. Her first impulse was to think I was talking about Ryan. But then she remembered he wasn't on a plane yet, he wasn't leaving for another two weeks. Then she decided I was kidding.

This is where it gets weird. I kept sending her messages. I started venting about no one from the airport calling my MomL to let her know Dad's plane never arrived. It was the protocol my father always assured us would happen if his plane ever went down. But for some reason, she didn't get any of those messages. She was left thinking I was messing with her, and now ignoring her.

She told a coworker that I was a brat for responding with "plane exploded on impact." The coworker was the one who gave her the news that a plane had indeed gone down over night. That is when her second heart attack hit.

She tried to get me to message her again by IMing "Sara!" which I got in the middle of my rant, but she still wasn't getting my long winded responses. Her coworker agreed to cover for her while she ran to my house to check on me.

On my end of things, I was still venting. A few minutes passed and I was beginning to feel bad that she wasn't responding to me.

Sara: say something please, you are starting to make me feel bad cause i know you are over there not knowing what to say
Sara: hello?
Sara: I will bbiaf

As I got off the couch, devastated my friend wasn't talking to me anymore, I noticed her face in my front window. A huge smile spread across my face. I was so relieved she came to talk to me. She bounced through the door, and immediately said, "Oh thank GOD, I thought you were serious!"

Still smiling, I answered, "I was. It was my dad's plane."

Immediately she burst into tears and I had to comfort her. I hugged her and told her it was okay. I later found out it was a gesture and saying I would have to perform over and over in the coming week.

It wasn't that funny at the time, but now, we laugh all the time. "Plane exploded on impact" is quoted heavily around here, mostly poking fun at me. I have to defend myself - I WASN'T THINKING STRAIGHT I AM SORRY!!!

Of course it wasn't as bad as what I pulled on the SingleBFF. I broke it to her way more gently, but gave her a heart attack the next day.

My daughter had her last cheerleading competition the Sunday following my dad's death. I didn't want to break the news to her until afterward. I asked SingleBFF to come with me for support. We woke up at 6 AM to get everything ready and make the 45 minute drive to the competition in Lincoln. We couldn't find her hair bows and SingleBFF reminded me we were going to be late if we didn't hurry.

I was exhausted. I hadn't slept more than five hours in three days. I didn't really CARE if we were late. So I yelled out a phrase that will forever be dear to my heart -

"My dad crashed and BURNED!!! I am allowed to be late!"

BFF was stunned. She just stood there with her mouth hanging open, not knowing what to say or do. After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, I said softly, "um, that was suppose to be funny."

"OMG!! Don't DO that to me!" she said, finally breathing again. We both laughed hard. It was the first good laugh I got in three days. Normally I am laughing all day long. I was able to use that as my excuse for a long time with the BFFs. I forgot to call you back? Well my dad crashed and burned, I'm allowed. I was rude because I didn't invite you over? Well C and B.

Finally MomBFF said, "Darling, that was five months ago, you can't USE that excuse anymore."

Oh well, It worked for awhile ;)

- Sara