Friday, February 8, 2008

Almost a Year

****Warning - sensitive material, may not want to read if you are hormonal today, or extra emotional****

After my father died, I found myself poring over memories and experiences. It amazes me how many moments aligned themselves at the end of his life.

We didn't discuss death often, but when it came up there were a few issues that were clear. The first was his adamant stance on open casket. He would NOT have an open casket funeral. When he was young he went to his grandfather's funeral. The image of his dead grandfather lying in the casket haunted him. He did not want any of us to have the image of him after he passed away. One time I told him, "Oh, we will have an open casket. You will be dead. You won't know the difference."

Not a single one of us had to see him after he died. The plane crash made an open casket completely out of the question. Since I make everything all about me, I am sure it was God's way of making sure I kept my father's request.

My father also worried about arguments over his possessions. When my great-grandmother passed away, there was a mad rush over to her house to clear it out. She didn't have anything of great value, but some relatives who got there first seemed to grab items just to grab them. My dad was appalled.

He later asked my siblings and me if there was anything of sentimental significance that we wanted when he died. None of us could think of anything we HAD to HAVE if he were to die. He laughed and said, "I thought for sure you would all say my ring." He was referring to a black hills gold ring with an eagle on the front. Immediately all three of us were spouting - Well yes, we will fight over the RING!!!

Once again, the plane wreck made this point moot. They never recovered his eagle or his wedding ring. My MomL told the funeral director she only wanted the rings if they showed no signs of damage due to the accident. During the wake, I pulled him aside and made sure he knew I wanted the rings even if they were simply a pool of melted gold.

He took me into an office and explained the plane went down around 9:45 PM, he arrived on the scene around 2 AM and the wreckage was still burning. There was nothing left.

I can't decide if everything lining up was fate, or if it is simply me being a pattern geek finding every possible lined up connection. Guess I will never know.


-Sara

1 comment:

Shawn said...

Well, you know that things happen for a reason. Maybe some of those things happened and lined up (at least in part) BECAUSE you are a pattern geek.....