Saturday, February 9, 2008

Friday Freak Out

It was Friday. Ryan was on his way home from Germany. I had started a blog about my father's accident. MomBFF invited me to the gym with her and a male coworker of hers, we will call him John.

I decided working out was far better for my emotional state before heading to work training than obsessing over a blog about a plane crash especially since Ryan would be on a few of them all day. I left the blog half done and headed for the gym.

I had lifted weights and was finishing up my workout on the elliptical machine when one of the TVs in the room caught my eye. It wasn't the soap opera playing; it was the crawl underneath -

"BREAKING NEWS"

I only caught a few words the first time it went past - evacuated . . . emergency vehicles . . . other planes still landing and taking off.

I yelled, "WHAT!?!" and stopped pedaling. MomBFF kept going and looked at me like I was crazy. My heart jumped into my throat as I tried to process what I saw while waiting for the crawl to start over.

- Its a local news crawl
- They mean our airport
- Calm down, wait for it, wait for it

After what seemed like an eternity of "stay tuned from more coverage" and "breaking news live at noon" advertisements in the crawl, it came across again.

"A plane landed at Epply (our local airport) after reports of a fire . . . "

MomBFF watched my heart attack come on and mentioned, "Landed sweetie, it says landed, everyone is fine." But I didn't really hear her.

"Surrounded by emergency vehicles, the United Airlines plane has not yet been evacuated. . ."

Severe panic mode - Ryan flies United.

I now understand panic attacks. They suck arse. It was a full tense body, stomach on the floor, heart in your throat, ears ringing, feeling of running in circles sort of thing.

THANK GOD FOR MOMBFF - "Chicago, his plane hasn't even reached Chicago yet. He flies into Omaha later tonight, remember?"

The freak out was over. I was left feeling sick to my stomach and the tears welled up. I kept composure until I hit the locker room where I sat letting those silent tears run their course. I came back out to find John yelling at me to quit slacking. I told him to stuff it as MomBFF filled him in on the drama.

"So? That's nothing to freak out about," he insisted. Men, they are morons, but he did make me feel better. Yelling at someone feels good when you have pent up adreneline.

What have I learned? (I always have to figure out what I learned) Even though I have come to terms with the accident that caused my father's death, I guess I am always going to be overly sensitive when I see the word "plane" on TV.

-Sara

PS Ryan landed at 7ish later that night and made it home fine :)

5 comments:

The Deviant Mom said...

I'm so glad Ryan made it home safe.

chitchatmoms@yahoo.com said...

Thank you. I usually do a good job of ignoring the television on days he is travelling, but at the gym it was in my face. I am sure it will get better as time passes.
Sara

Shawn said...

Sara, don't apologize for your "freak out". My father died in a car accident (over 25 years ago), and if DH is late and I hear about a car accident, I immediately start worrying. It will get better as time passes, but it may not ever go away. Just focus on the positive and what you can control. Thankfully he made it home!

chitchatmoms@yahoo.com said...

Thanks Shawn, that really helps me out knowing I am normal, and it isn't a set back. I like it when I am normal - most of the time :)
Sara

chitchatmoms@yahoo.com said...
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